"it" just moved
You gave him head? He fingered you? A little bit of make out?
WHAT THE FUCK ITS LIKE YOU WERE THERE
curled up in a ball on my bed listening to my "cuddle with a boy" playlist. prettty high.
All I remember is yelling RUN as fireworks started going off in the kitchen. Who said that was a bad idea?
so jimmy johns showed up at our party last night. our house is sponsored now. living the dream.
Tell your boyfriend I'm sorry for ruining his vein. I'm never drawing blood drunk again.
I think I'm getting too used to throwing up in the reception trash can. It doesn't even phase me anymore
This is your typical drubkba Amy test. Shout out to jisus for auto correct
Stole a wheelchair from the hospital and rolled down the street smoking and drinking this is my weekend
When a girl says " I never would have come over if I knew I was getting kicked out at 7am." the correct response isn't "but think of how responsible you're being."
ok is that genuinely the first four bars of mozart's symphony #40 sharpied onto my arm or
there's nothing weirder than waking up to your mom eating breakfast on the couch that you fucked her coworker on last night.
I sent him this really overly apologetic text asking him out. It was just sad. Not even 27 shots of whiskey can grow me a self-esteem.
I haven't taken a solid shit in four weeks. Do you know what started four weeks ago? Alcohol and dining hall food. Fucking college.
I now have scissors specifically made for cutting dicks off.
Randomize
