someone called me shannon dorrhety annnd it hurt my feelingsd.
He came in both my eyes, then refused to give me a towel unless I found him by playing Marco Polo
Hey, this is Travis. I just so intelligently deduced that I am in a college dorm somewhere in western oregon. Probably WOU, based on the process of elimination.
Do not shit in our house. There is no TP. I am walking to get more, if I do not return, I have probably died of dysentery after my last wagon wheel got stuck in a gulch. Tell Martha and Lou Ann that I love them, and that I passed away doing the Lord's work.
Please come home, i don't want to feel like basket garbage girl but I'm in your alleyway and not sure how to change that.
I can't ever date him again. Whenever I see his face I just remember helplessly pissing myself in my car.
she sent me a picture of dilf asleep in bed with the caption "what happened last night?"
I'm on the couch watching HGTV googling giant boob Halloween costumes so life is swell
He's a fucking ninja- think of the things he can probably do with his dick.
I have nice boobs. Don't wanna deprive anyone of the experience.
You're a saint.
I fell out of my bed whilst trying not to move this morning. I AM ADULT
I had ice cream for breakfast two days in a row.
SUPER ADULTS
my grocery cart consisted of hershey bars, sour patch kids, starbursts, mayo, 4 frozen pizzas, 4 lunchables, and chips. clearly, i can't do this on my own.
just realized I'll be in a check out line with just Hershey syrup and condoms. I don't know if I am setting a good image for our generation
I dont know. He's too private. After you fuck him find out his secrets.
Did I honestly think it was a good idea to wear my pink robe out in public at 2 in the morning ?
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