Thanks for last night it was amazing as always
What are you talking about
You've got to be kidding me
Just realized our kids will one day call us old because we were around when texting came about. I'm sad.
it was like getting a handjob from mrs. butterworth
I think he was having a seizure but nobody knew because 'what is love' was playing
Who would win... a chainsaw pooping pterodactyl or a bear with machine guns for feet. big debate about this right now
Hey. Hope youre not too hungover. Also, did you put a Christmas tree in my guest bathroom and cover it with condoms?
I was up all night on suicide watch. Dave was wasted and tried to strangle himself. With his own hands.
It was like giving head to a cactus.
well his attempt to make a white russian with instant coffee, gone off milk, and that weird probably illegal vodka we bought the other day isnt going well
So I just crossed my legs and I was like what is this lump on my leg? Oooh its my underwear from last time I wore these jeans...
There must be a happy medium universe where you get it on with my girlfriend enough to cause me pain but not a full on cardiac arrest. It's a fine line to tread though.
Pregnancy test = positive. Hope you still have our old guess who game 'cause daddy elimination begins now.
Talked to the dude for a hour . I now know where he lives, his occupation, his goals, his dreams and what his dick looks like.
I just saw the co founder of Waffle House passed away Friday. Are you okay?
That's about the same time my life started falling apart... Coincidence?!?!? I think NOT!!!
My Mini-Van Handjob Milf is leaving the company. I need to find a new job. I can’t handle this place without those handjobs
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