My hair reeks of homosexuality.
i fucked some guy last night. i called him nick jonas by mistake. i'm 24.
i watch way too much csi for them to even pretend to be my friend.
I am pretty sure I told him the clouds were earth's purest filtration system and that snow was the rarest and most delicious water in the world. My lips are burning because we ate so much.
so apparently I plead the 5th to every question they asked me when they put me under the conscious sedation to set my broken wrist
Why is the garage door in the middle of the street?
I obviously couldn't but this on your fbook wall. I would get judge. I would willingly get tbagged by him. You can quote me on that.
Just got convinced to trip sit for a pack of cigarettes and a burrito. Let the games begin
He is currently tell his hat to go free. Like he has it sitting on the table just waiting for it to take off. When he's not looking I'm gonna throw it off the balcony and tell him it's flying
GOT MY PERIOD AND AN INTERNSHIP OFFER THIS IS A WONDERFUL DAY
I'm not sure what exactly you were planning, but you kept yelling that we were going to need a lot of midgets and a lawyer.
Hahaha more like walk of pride. You entered the lions den last night.
lesbians are really intense tho, she made me take her eye makeup off and told me she was going to eat me for breakfast
ive decided that just saying "yes" when people assume I am something other than Caucasian will highly benefit my love life. last night I was native.
I just don't understand why we can't have sex in the house. I'll come see you but I'll have to think about the barn thing.
so i find a box of condoms inside my car with turn by turn directions to her bedroom... kinda freaked out cause she got my address and somehow inside my car
Randomize
