i will never coherently bang her
They threw a beer at you on stage and then you stopped the karaoke and cussed everyone in the bar out for 2 minutes
He looks like he has a penis
What the fuck
A good one, a good penis
Nothing like a $37 iTunes bill. Jesus Christ do you know how many $2 beer/shot specials that is??? The answer is 16. 16 beer/shot specials.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The nurse who basically saved my life just came into the store. Didn't recognize her. Awwwwkward.
Why is there soup literally in every orifice of my body?
My dog is now used to me drunk singing and sleeps through it. I don't know how I feel about this
Okay, tomorrow we'll have a day of life-sorting and plasma-selling.
Oh great. I guess I'm second on that list now that we've confirmed she's not a lesbian AND that was her sister.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I couldn't even tell you how many times I've said "wrong hole" today
I'm not trying to analyze you I'm just saying you are being unfair to soup
He paid for a 5 star hotel suite and I raided the mini bar after he left. I think that’s bad karma. Want some pringles?
Dont be alarmed when you come homeand see a guy handcuffed to your bed. His name is james. Ill uncuff him when I get home
I don't want to spend an inordinate amount of time with you, I want to have sex with you. Duhhhhhh.
I can’t believe you’re letting her use the Mercedes
It seemed like a better idea while she was giving me a hand job. It’s a good thing we weren’t having sex. Who knows what I would agree to during sex
Randomize