friends don't let friends hook up with gingers.
Caught my drug dealer jacking off. I think this is a new step in our relationship
You tried to convince me you were sober by doing jumping jacks. For an hour.
I'm sitting next to a ginger. She is decked out in olive green. Gingers fucking love olive green.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Right... Let's keep my vodka tinged mind focused on simple words
My fridge broke, and apparently the back is missing. The repair guy just fixed it with a pizza box. I didn't ask where the box came from, but it wasn't mine. Reason #20 why rent is cheap.
I'm a drunk white girl and my ancestors were drunk white girls, if we apologized our species would be extinct.
Just figured out my hair is long enough to tie my wrists together. . .get over here NOW!
Just do it. I grew some lady balls and did it last year. It's your turn. Time to show what you're made of. Hit it or quit it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She found my old SD card with stuff I "didn't keep" or "didn't record us doing".... She's pissed but really horny. Did I just win at sex?
So how did it go?
I'm not sure if it was all the eggnog or all the alcohol, but hosting an eggnog pong tournament was a mistake.
Dude fuck drugs. It's 4am and I'm eating mushroom ravioli fantasizing about jumping on a trampoline
Yeah, great now I will be tampon girl
You know that text I sent you last night at 2? That was 5 minutes before I ran face first into a wall of not okay
I accidentally just texted my dad asking if he wants to do shrooms with me. Do I leave the city now or...
Randomize