just walked by a lingerie store, the sign out front, "Specials for Father's Day", in no way is that just not wrong.
i think the fact that he graduated high school the year i graduated elementary school is sexy.
she looks like someone took a bunch of spare parts and glued them all on one face. it's quite horrifying.
You act like I was drinking alone...I had the entire Verizon network with me
Last night I dipped into my beer fund to pay for groceries. SINCE WHEN ARE MY PRIORITIES SO WHACK???
i almost set my kitchen on fire last night. homecoming week is getting the best of me
I've slowly been stuffing french fries down his pants. I'm at 31 and he hasn't even noticed.
"The juvenile turned and faced the officer, unzipped his pants, placed a fresh cigarette in between his legs and preceded to light it with a match"
pretty sure that drunk girl we saw climbing the stairs is now DJing this club....
At least you have booty calls.
True. I just waste them though. I feel like I need to be told "there are people in this world who would give anything for just one and you have two." You know in that same tone your parents told you about the starving people in china
Admit it. It's a brilliant plan with hundreds of possible repercutions.
Understatement of the year.
Girl we've come a long way since our first Brazilian wax
I knew it would be a shit show so I just went ahead and took plan b before I even got there. How's that for responsible?
I just got a job offer for Australia. Unfortunately I have given the name of Whitney
On a scale of 1 to 10 how concerned should I be
Randomize
