This bar receipt from last night makes no sense
You were wasted and got mad that it was too high so you subtracted 50 bucks in the tip line from the total
I wish that would've worked
I think my hot accountant is wearing banana republic. I miss the days when that ='ed gay. Signals are so confusing now.
ugh, today is just one of those 'get high before your 8am class' days.
Is it weird that I found myself thinking of that blue chick from Avatar while she gave me head after the movie?
Remember when we did the egg drop from the Dyson building? Her vag is like that, except with a ham, and the ham doesn't make it. I'll be back to the apartment in ten.
We can talk tomorrow when we're both alert. My mind is somewhere else right now.
Where's it at?
In your pants.
Apparently I was holding on to a pizza crust for hours last night.
We're watching a video in class about cheese. The scoring for it sounds like that of a Lifetime movie. My mind is creative. I've continued my own story in my head of a wheel of cheese that was raped and murdered. It's so sad. I hope they get the guy. Btw, the video is about marketing.
I don't need my coworkers thinking I'm a nutcase.
You gift wrapped a tampon.
Do you know how much wine is in a box of wine? Not so much an amount, but whether it will kill me if I drink the entire box this xmas
Last night someone asked you what your favorite color was and you said "bagel."
I tried to trade my phone for pizza last night. I guess I had priorities last night
I realize my mistake but don't you dare school me in cock, young man
dude you pointed at my dad's crotch and said I'd tap that. I didn't even know you were gay.
How did i spend $200 last night?
Every time you went to get me a drink, you also came back with shots. Then you fell down the steps.
Randomize
