No it only became awkward when she walked in with her new boyfriend and we realized we'd all banged her
Just fucked a hooker at a motel in New Jersey. Two states down, 48 to go.
just threw up into the cup of Gatorade I was hoping would settle my stomach. thanks again, alcohol.
been home a week and haven't blacked out yet. i miss college
i found two dead squirrels on my front step this morning.. do you think they have something to do with my missing phone?
He told me since I'm into organics I should know his meat is known locally for its quality and hes hand raised it since age 13.
My little brother just suggested we drink the rest of the vodka because it's raining. My job is complete.
Yea... you were given too many get out of jail free cards. God just gave up on you having a healthy and happy vagina.
Just so you know the unusual amount of skittles on your floor is entirely your own fault. You bought me 20 bags of them while I was high.
With a stable of 7 fuck buddies, I literally use a random number generator to determine the order in which I will booty call them on my way home from work. I have not slept in my own bed in a month. I just keep half my clothes hanging in my car or in a suitcase.
The problem with drugs is that there's none in this hotel
The problem with drugs is that showing my boobs only gets so much of them
idk i just feel really unsatisfied. like something's missing from my life... maybe it's chicken nuggets...
If you had asked me 10 years ago where I thought I'd be right now at 26 years old, I can bet you one million dollars that "tweezing out my nose hairs before I go in to get laser hair removal on my upper lip" would NOT have been the answer
I despise everything about her. Except her tits.
1. Everyone on the 1st and 3rd floor heard you. 2. The 3rd floor vibrates when we have sex. 3. The 1st floor can hear the bed squeak.
Randomize
