on a scale of one to ten, how awkward would it i told him i had to go change my tampon and then left?
11
he was on top of me and all of a sudden stopped and starting picking his nose...i asked him if he was okay, he sort of looked confused, and he told me he had a booger that hurt. guess its a good thing i wasnt planning on dating this guy
I feel like I'm back in highscool trying to hide my erections at work
I'm not a creep or anything, just a lost soul looking for a good lay
This place doesnt have redbull or serve shots. Its like they are at war with fun.
now I know why they wanted me to come. apparently gay guys are stripper magnets
I distinctly recall there being a "I can't be dead 2maro" stipulation to going out last night. There's been a breech of contract
Seriously. My vagina. Can we talk about it? It's gonna jump off this treadmill and devour my trainer.
True enough. Do you ever think that these girls grandparents ghosts are watching you masterbate to their granddaughters and look at you in Shame?
You thought you were drunk? I woke up at 6 o'clock this morning with a cheeseburger in my left hand a drink in my right with my window half way down. it was raining.... fml
I want your attention. I want your attention in the form of your penis inside my vagina.
it's like the easy bake oven version of plastic surgery
Finally got with the virgin.
Yeah? Howd that go?
As soon as I got it all the way in, I looked deep into her eyes and said "your soul is mine" in the deepest voice I could make. She was not amused.
She should be a lawyer. She convinced her husband to give her a hall pass AFTER he walked in on her in bed with her ex-bf
Turns out naked yoga wasn't a pickup line. I feel betrayed.
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