weak ass sauce last night. waste of time. you suck. ps. your boobs are fake
Are you guys doing anything tonight?
Krysta
I fell asleep next to my cousin and woke up with my hand in her pants because i though it was lisa
does it count as cheating if I'm bettering him for his girlfriend?
First I must say that I am disappointed to learn that you knowingly have trashy friends with whom you've not hooked me up.
You were rubbing sand all over yourself and everyone else and claiming you were "EXFOLIATING."
I wasn't sure how he was going to followup "so,i shot myself.." i guess "w a nail gun" is the best choice out of what I expected
so my mom thinks I'm picking you up just to go buy you liquor before you go back to school tomorrow...
I'm ashamed that your mom thinks I haven't already taken care of that.
In times of desperation, never...NEVER put green apple scented hand sanitizer on your vagina.
I just remembered that we had an in-depth conversation about how it was too stressful to wear pants.
Every Easter every single one the baby Jesus butt plug comes up
Smoked a joint with mom, best Thanksgiving ever!
You ate my ass why wouldn't I remember you
Ooooh no. Jesus take the wheel, or Moses. SOMEBODY TAKE THE WHEEL
Well, I ruined his toilet and he's still completely okay with me. Plus, it took him like a week to tell me.
If a girl I didn't love ruined my toilet I don't think I'd stick around.
Randomize
