her nipple to breast ratio was just odd
the third sister isn't as attractive as the other two but I will do her anyway to finally pull off the fabled family hat trick.
Apparently the guard had to repeat "you're too drunk to get in" three times before I understood. I guess he was right.
as we were stuffing their 24 of beer into our bags you kept saying you wanted cheese strings. closest things we found were kraft singles. as the guys came up the stairs you kept screaming 'GET THE CHEESE! GET THE CHEESE!'
He didn't speak any English, but I think I caught the word turtle in there somewhere.
Why would he say turtle mid-fuck?
I woke up to him eating me out, listening to classical music.
So... on the count of three, we are going to forget last night ever happened... 1...2...3
They thought we spoke German and French even though we just kept repeating "I give to you a cat" and "Are you drunk?"
In a car. Threw up in my mouth. Haven't said a word in 10 minutes.
At one point you starting double fisting oreos in your mouth confused about how you got out of the car
I just stuck my fingers down her throat so she could puke. I mean what are friends for
Oh my god she just threw up on her dog
She just came home holding a fire hydrant. Yes a fire hydrant.
A dude just looked at me like my drunk swaying was corrupting his progeny DUDE YOUR KID HAS A MULLET YOU'VE ALREADY RUINED HIM
UVE SEEN MY TITS OKAY STOP CRYING
Day drunk. He was sitting in the back seat, opened the door, leaned out, and peed right there in the dutch bros drive through. No one even noticed haha
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