so i slept on a park bench last night...no hobo
i barfeds in our rink
I just ate a whole bag of celery instead of getting up to get a glass of water. That high.
Did you really end last night's sexting with "Stay thirsty my friend"?
its hard to take this fight seriously when one dude is an oompa loompa, and the other is a "g spot"
And the best part is that she's coming home to find that I completely shaved her dog.
i've really grown. sober me left an alarm for me every 10 minutes that said NO FAT CHICKS!
dude. im stealing that.
If you can find a Canadian Lesbian to have pity sex with me, let me know.
He told me he wants to eat me out all day while I lay in bed watching football. Seems like a solid foundation for a relationship to me.
There is this threesome scene that is literally 10 minutes of straight fucking
Omg so it's educational?
Beer, water, beer, water, beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer so much beer
Our first order of business as new roommates was to test the sex acoustics of our rooms. I need a new box spring.
Inebriation Olympics: Team Drunk vs Team Stoned. This weekend. It's on.
I guess I just don't understand how the two main issues with your ex involve a cock ring and a Christmas tree
Probably yeah. I mean maybe one day we can be those friends that hang out naked. Not awkard at all.
Randomize
