Waaait I'm alsleep in myt car somewhere
The old saying is "its not the size of the boat-- but the motion of the ocean" is obviously for those on the "Small side." I am of the belief that "You can't churn butter with a toothpick"
I'm going to show my kids 2 girls 1 cup just to scare them away from porn
my brother walked in while we were fucking, silently took my bong from my closet, saluted us and walked out.
my goal is to not remember how i make a living by 9pm saturday night
I feel like today should be a " im going to have sex with you cause its raining and theres nothing else to do" kinda day
No, I don't not want an upside down piggyback ride. You're drunk and there are rocks.
This would be a good time for the don't get drunk and bang a married chick pep talk...
But he buys me breakfast and goes down on me THATS HARD TO FIND
He said bring my breathalyzer and Anna's pepper spray, I didn't ask questions
Fun thought: I realized the thing I miss most about him is dixie kong's double trouble on his super Nintendo. It's possible that I don't have a soul.
Is this the point in which we come to terms with our lesbianism or is that after you send me more ass pics...
They think its so cute and admirable that I learned French. BITCH HAVE YOU NEVER HEARD OF GOOGLE TRANSLATE? sexting foreign bitches, there's an app for that
He is a sweet angel sent from dick heaven!
And I am bleeding like slutty girl #1 In a horror movie
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