I drank enough to make her look pretty . . It worked and i threw up while going at it
You're the host. Of course you wear the diaper. It's like wearing the pants.
I just gave the bartender my number in roman numerals. If she figures it out, she's worth a shot
"reccomended dose" hasn't been in my vocabulary for quite some time.
My dinner last night was 3000 calories of beer. Slept kneeling on the floor w/ my head on a couch
Made a salesman quit his job, a saleswoman cry, and got a manager to half shout "fuck this"....successful drunk Christmas shopping
Showed up 2 hours late and still drunk nobody gave me a high five. This intership is bullshit.
Also, not pregnant! Way to go uterus! Good job on being a team player!
You'd be amazed at how difficult it is to find pics of the helicopter dick
I am very proud of your internet skills
But it's ok cause then I turned my tequila blanket into a tequila comforter and I felt no pain
Was the picture of her twerking on a fake plant sufficient?
His face matches his life choices. Both are train wrecks.
As I took my shirt off he commented on how great my boobs where. I responded with "thanks, I grew them myself"
My dad is sitting where you rode me
Apparent my drunk ass was so dedicated to taking a piss, when I walked across the dance floor to get to the bathroom a 9/10 broad tried to dance with me and I just pushed her aside, like hard enough to send her a few feet from where she was standing, pointed at her and said "Not now chief, gotta rock a mean one."
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