The only reason I'm still around is so I can grow a huge Gandalf beard when my hair turns gray
just saw bouncers outside a coffee shop. beginning to question humanity.
I've been meaning to ask you. The first night in the city did we do key bumps with a suicidal homeless man? My memory is fuzzy
By the way, we're gonna have to get a new rug for the livingroom i kinda started ours on fire...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
SOS. HE HAS PASSED OUT AND IS LYING ON TOP OF ME. HE IS STILL INSIDE. HELP
Please explain why there is a video of you peeing in the Taco Bell bathroom on my phone? Also why did you wink at the end?
Just left a strip club where they let me on stage to teach them tricks. Time of my life!
How early is too early to study with margaritas?
Just follow the currents of life. And if they take me on to a guys dick, so be it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nothing says "we're never gonna bone" like "nice haircut, it makes you look like my cousin"
you can't let guys come on your chest and then hog my blanket
I'm gonna give the church their tithe, and the rest is a down payment on boobs.
We have had more Sex in the past 48 hours then we have in the past 3 months. I think it was from me dressing up as Darth Vader.
After passing out at the kitchen table, you woke up in my parents bed in between them. With no pants on.
I climbed on the arm of the futon, flapping my hand fan frantically and hissing imprecations at the smoke detector
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