walking home from your place the other day I saw a man with a ponytail sitting on some church steps petting a plant
he should get drunk with us
Cuntadactyl. (n). A pre-historic dinosaur of Mandy-like features that is primarily identified by it's inability to play well with others and overall C-word demeanor. Physically, an unfortunate appearance.
I got a hennah tattoo of my room number on my arm...I love spring break in Mexico!
fuck you guys, stop putting fake babies in my car the cops came again.
He def has a gf... But hes 7 feet tall and that superceeds any morality I may have.
Um I just overheard that the new guy spent a month in jail. Obvi another great hire.
For some reason there are two like 10 year old black girls crumping at the bar. I feel like I'm in a missy elliot video.
I just want to have weird supply closet sex with him... and then I'll be all set. Fired, but all set.
In between rounds of sex, you stopped and did drunken handstand push-ups.
At least he finally released me from his spooning oven of death...
I almost wanna stick a tampon in and sneeze bent over to see if it actually shoots out
Well, I currently have zero fuckboys and my vibrator just broke. A fresh start to May.
I can tell that I'm high when listening to celine dion becomes such a life changing experience
he offered to let me fuck his brother , of course im marrying him
Andddddd I'm drunk
Andddddd it's Tuesday
That's your opinion.
Randomize
