I wishh there was a lost and high section in walmart cause I would be there right now
I just typed my entire senior project presentation on my blackberry,
just had an encounter with drunk people from out of state at dairy queen. they wanted to stay till march to see the high school play.
Remind me to tell you the one about the cashier that wouldn't sell me Jim Beam and NyQuil.
Maid of honor is brides sister and single. Likes lemondrops. You're welcome.
I can't believe you broke a Paula dean wooden spoon over my ass
Seriously this night has "go home now before you cry, puke or scream on someone" written all over it.
You guys can't keep having sex with them and cleaning their house! They're never going to take you seriously!
I have no idea. But I feel like I could climb a mountain and then have sex on it.
guy next to me on the train just pulled out two bottles of gin and a block of cheddar. is slowly making his way through all of them.
Apparently she "missed me" and the only logical solution was to fuck my brother.
I banged a guy named Robbie last night and in the middle of sex he begged me to scream santos. I'm pretty sure I just screwed a dude with multiple personalities.
hahahaha classic. this is why you are going to a college with a hospital right next to it
Nice girl until she takes off the fake human suit and shows you the flesh eating demon she truly is
Nobody on Tinder wants to give you a Blumpkin.
Randomize
