Forget about socially acceptable. Make me happy instead
Just walked pass a bum on the way to a coinstar... awkward
He' s half Black and half Italian, I finally asked...this penis maybe one for the records.
Whatever. I'll let someone else deal with his flacid penis.
Appropriately today was the first time I've ever GTL'd. I can't believe I made fun of this,it's rather relaxing.
I'm sorry that I ate boneless ribs off of your sister, but that is no reason to drink my alcohol.
Dude. There's gotta be an article in Cosmo about it cause I've had three different girls tongue tickle my brownie this month.
I just want him to come back from NOLA alive, without an arrest record or stripper glitter on his clothes...
Those seems like unreasonable expectations for a bachelor party honestly...
I knew you were super hungover. But so hungover you fire our house cleaner because her vacuums too loud is excessive
we just ate hash browns in a nativity scene with baby jesus
considering I just took 3 shots of fireball I don't think I'm coming back tonight. also the hulk just walked in crushing beer cans on his forehead
I'm still not 100% sure who I'm sleeping with
I support your vibrator fueled lifestyle.
He bent me in ways I couldn't imagine.. and im a gymnast.
The high school classes are online, not my sex life. He still comes over for “teacher / parent conferences.” A couple more “conferences” and I’ll be able to rewrite the Sex Ed curriculum
Randomize
