He had some BAD nuttage
Nuttage?
It's like cleavage......... but different
i would really appreciate it if you would stop texting my girlfriend.
i would really appreciate it if you would stop cock blocking me.
is it a bad thing if he can only get off when i start talking like one of the girls from Jersey Shore??
Just found my toeprints on the glass of his sunroof.
Fuck buddy has no power. Invited her over to use my shower. I love hurricaines.
Starting drinking whiskey at eight. Already had ten girls looking up my kilt to make sure I'm wearing it right.
Well, I've taken the art of car peeing to new heights
my human sexuality class is the only class where the porn i watch the night before is relevant to the discussion the next day
Like Is it appropriate to tell your boss you banged a guy in the back of a truck at a wedding? Probably not.
Do you think this 2 hour Amazon delivery thing works on vibrators? Cause that would be clutch
After all this I still can't spell gonorrhoea without autocorrect
Heeyy... sorry I got so drunk. You probably don't ever want to see me again. Thank you for dealing with me when I tried to jump over the deli counter for some mayonnaise.
To describe how high he was he said, " I'm cocked out of my ape sandwich" so yes...that was some pretty good weed.
don't worry dude i have your phone, text me when youre gonna come get it
In other news there's 12 shirtless Korean dudes all trying to jump on a tiny little trampoline so that's entertaining
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