This boy just came into class wearing sperrys and a polo but also carrying a longboard. I'm unequivocably attracted to his level of doucheyness.
As far as classy things to do in front of your ex go, throwing up on your own shirt is not one of them.
She said she didn't think she should have to shave either. Guess no shave November just became no sex November.
you were carrying a trash bag around insisting it was your purse. I'll let you guess how your night went
if pee wee herman would have taken a snuggie to the movies he wouldnt have gotten caught
Come outside. The vendor wants to go out strong tonight! Russian hooker interviews. Don't ask. We leave in 3 minutes.
She was telling me which girls she thought I should fuck or not at the bar. Why can't all one night stands be that cool after?
I just want to see him this morning so I can bask in my wasted accomplishment.
Well girls crying gets you hard so you're not really a good standard to me
I fell in the river last night. The allegheny to be exact. Omg getting drunk at work gatherings is dangerous
I'm eating hummus off of my stomach right now.
I need to stop acting like a drunk bitch. People are going to get the right idea about me...
I told you when I started the only reason I was gonna coach your kids soccer team was that I could meet all the hot soccer moms. So why are you so mad I slept with your ex?
I just have to decide what I love more, food or dick.
I JUST HAD TO SNORT THE REST OF MY BAG OF COKE BECAUSE THE BAG RIPPED IN THE WORK BATHROOM.
I'm guessing you feel amazing due to all the caps?
LETS GET THIS SHIT DONE. IM GONNA GET THIS SHIT DONE, FOREVER.
Randomize
