I've been emailing with a woman. I don't think she's into me, but we've become sorta email buddies. I'm hoping to meet her because on her profile she states she's into 'fisting.' Frankly the thought kinda freaks me out but I'm dying to see what kind of woman is 1) into that and 2) admits it upfront.
I wanted to dispute a few 411 charges on my phone bill. The service rep told me I called them four times asking for Lady Gaga's number.
he doesnt exactly give off the "im mature enough to use my penis" vibe
just saw a midget ride a motorized cooler into the liquor store. i'm gonna follow him home.
My booty call got married. Come over before I start tagging all the places my dick has been in her wedding photos.
tequila makes me forget i have legs
with all this snow coming, and no school, I figure why not try every possible liquor snowcone.
What are you doing and how can I add sex in there
I just threw up in my front yard because my roommate was in the bathroom. Fuck New Years Day.
I had lunch with him today and quietly mourned his wasted good looks on such a disappointing set of genitals.
It took years to build this empire of casual fuckings and not carings.
Dude, my ex girlfriend showed up, bought me a tequila shot, made out with me and then disappeared into the night. Then her current girlfriend saw, so she came over and slapped me and then I made out with her too
This was before halftime
I RUINED A LESBIAN RELATIONSHIP BEFORE HALFTIME
Do you think I need to report to HR that the intern and I had butt sex?
And I am bleeding like slutty girl #1 In a horror movie
The orgasm I got from him made me feel almost as good as I imagine the girls in the tampon commercials feel.
Randomize
