There is a banner on a house by campus that says "welcome to college dads. Thanks for dropping off your daughters!"
is he the 3rd person to bang everyone in our group?
Ya bro it was wild. Hey, is latex digestible?
Ya, found out why there were rat traps in my bed. Guess I pissed in Sams room so he went to the store and got them and put them on my bed and put tabasco in his humidifier and put it in my room
Russian roulette. Between salvia and weed. You in?
FUCK YOU MAN
In complete seriousness I think I am the highest person on earth
I haven't been motivated enough for a shirt. And only half the day was bra-worthy.
He recreated the night that started all my mothers days. We shared a joint, drank Boones Farm, and dry humped to the Beastie Boys. Then I cried over MCA's death. Best. Gift. Ever.
I sent "Rawrrrr" to 151 matches on Tinder. I feel like thats a substantial size of the DC female population.
I'm tempted to randomly yell out 'SO HOW IS YOUR UNDERAGE GIRLFRIEND' but that would be callous
He is such a generous lover, I can look past the fact his name is fucking Bob.
His parents then knew me as the blackout who took care of him and stole his watch
I fucked a marine... I told him it was like personal revenge and he said he could live with that and that he didn't mind being used.
I ripped my favorite bra in half last night while I was undressing in a drunken rage.
What was the rage all about?
He wouldn't stop to let me get McDonald's french fries.
maybe you met your husband and you just don't know it yet
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