HOLD UP I think she only has eight fingers...
Just found 50 pesos and a coke spoon in my dads old shit. Gotta love the 70s
Im telling you now. Hang out with winning football players and you get whatever the hell you want. Sorry to wake you. But its important knowledge.
Dude, I just cut my asshole on the new toilet paper. If you rationed the grocery money to buy drugs, I better be getting some.
Guy having heart attack in McDonalds. Classic.
Being the adderall dealer on campus, I feel responsible for everyone graduating.
Omg. I have a story to tell you later about that girl that just crawled on stage
Fucking her would be like seeing big foot, finding a four leaf clover , petting a unicorn, and arm wrestling a leprechaun in a matter of a 6 hour period
He leaned off the deck, puked a waterfall of beer, looked back at everyone and said "it was just a burp".
Just got escorted to my 7:45 class by an old woman because I was too hungover to not realize I was four floors too high.
He always finds the good stuff. He's like a truffle pig for bud.
I know he's married but I don't know how else to show sympathy! Nudes are my only emotional currency.
Do not take the D yet, he needs to be worth it. Your Vagina is GOLD.
not sure what the chiropractor did but my junk deserves a cape now.
I just found my phone after looking for it since yesterday afternoon it was in the fridge.
Randomize
