I'm kindof freaked out about my cock not getting up this morning. Cove over later so I can sort this out. Do not post this on texts from last night.
Damn that would have been a great one. Hahah and don't worry...
i guess. but if i can salvage this and still somehow see you naked i feel like that's a win
I'm just that much of a man that I can watch Ellen and Oprah back to back and still like girls.
It's noon and i am somehow drinking by myself in a jazz tent in broad daylight.
i think she is mad at you for trying to take a shit in the back seat of her car
she showed up with nothing but olive garden breadsticks in her purse.
so exactly what is concert sex etiquette? Before, during or after???
all of the above
I don't see how I managed to fuck up so much shit in an hour and a half..
Can't keep a straight face around her after she asked me to "make fuck to her."
High-fiving last weekend's hook up in passing on the way to class has given me quite the lady boner.
Is posting a pic on insta of my previously dyed blue pubes socially acceptable?
Yup, found the vomit in the side compartment. My bad.
I'm not sure. But he has a pet sugar glider. So, points either way
As long as that's not his name for his dick.
I finally realized he drank way too much when he tried serenading me to the song "come my lady" while slowly and creepily making his way toward me...keeping constant eye contact.
I'm at home 4 xanax deep watching She's all that.. no I don't want to go out. The couch is eating me.
Randomize
