Call me back. I want to hear your side of the dead cat in my garage story.
you just kept yelling NO BUENO SENOR at the cashier and throwing coins at him, of course you were going to get kicked out of the grocery store
I slept face down in the dirt because I wanted to go camping?
Just got a event reminder on my phone to never party with you again.
Thursday nights need to stop happening to me.
Fairly certain I called dibs on your lesbian virginity last night
shes on the ground doing bicycle kicks screaming "is my ass good enough for you now satan" send help
Just had sex in an ice hut. What have you done with your holiday break?
I'm glad that even though we are states apart our whorish hearts beat as one
I was orgasming and dying of laughter at the same time. I think I've found the One.
He posted a picture from Senor Frogs. I don't remember where that bikini came from and my sombrero is PERPENDICULAR. Safe to say it was one hell of a day
I just got a snapchat of a flaccid penis with the caption "happy belated valentine's day." What did I do to deserve this
Did i fall last night when u carried me home.
idk
OHHH yea you fell down the stairs face first
Remember I am not doing blow tonight. I REPEATE NO COCAINE unless I do it with your mom
I woke up this morning and my house is covered in shredded cheese with my laptop open and a google image search for "awesome shit".
Randomize
