it hurts more in the daytime
Yeaaah, so cabbie laughed at me, and said, "rough nite? Let me find you some music" . apparently OPP is the appropriate ride of shame soundtrack.
why does the wii remote smell like your vag?
So many people have lost their virginity on my futon... I think it is only the right thing to bronze it and put it on display
Just realized I'm marrying a man that's never gone down on me. What happened to my priorities?
There's a certain level of slut that i can handle.... I think she just broke that scale
going to a night class in lingerie so i can quickly go to his house after.
once again, we need to groom him to be a better human being. using liquor and tits.
I just realized the only way to play Edward forty-hands is commando in a skirt. This intelligence kick is really doing me justice.
I'm confused as to why I have a picture of your boobs in response to a photo of my father
I'm sorry I never said I wasn't coming home last night. To my defense I did type and send a text, only I was too drunk to realize I sent it to the guy I was with instead of you.
All I know for sure is, I went to bed drunk and I woke up in a relationship..I think I need to reevaluate my drinking skills.
I can't believe I'm coordinating a threesome at work. My productivity is at an all time low.
Me my naked body. You bring the paints. I expect to be a panther by game time Sunday.
What do I get.
Panthers win you get to fuck the paint off me.
The oven caught fire. I put it out, but called the fire department just to make sure it was okay since the smoke wasn't going away
You just wanted to meet firemen
Randomize
