my mkouth tastes houw teh zoo smelllls
i had just passed the point of no return when my mom opened my door. I hid my dick and took the porn off the computer in time but i still had to explain my day at school to her WHILE i was jizzing in my pants.
dudes here are drinking wine, and not in the forgivable 'just doing this to get laid' way
Emergency need house key where r u I just got shit o n
Also there's a dick sized hole in my tights...should I be worried?
I just want to point out that nothing makes my hickie/hangover more obvious than sleeping in a scarf and sunglasses. nothing.
No. I'm drinking straight up vodka right now. With a pineapple in it.
That'll put some boobs in that bra.
Nice just gets you lonely or dead. I don't like those options.
I just picked up a hitchhiker so karma will be on our side this weekend. Hahahahahaha
No.
My new dealer was watching Space Jam and eating ham off a frisbee when I went over. He's my new favorite person
Your dick is going to fall off. Be careful or you'll get callouses. A workingman's dick.
American Eric just peed on us from the second floor. Hes now very confused as to why his "toilet is yelling." Send help.
She bit my shoulder during foreplay last night, and it's already infected. I think she has rabies.
quit whining, rub some dirt on it, and lets get out there
its my penis
No no. Thank you. Killed multiple birds with one penis.
Randomize
