just walked out of chelsea's house and saw cameron slapping his dick against her car. cant even make this shit up if i tried.
just saw a girl who had one of those monogrammed backpacks... her initials are VAG. is this a sign?
I told him we couldn't have sex because I was ovulating and "I come from fertile people."
When i look at that picture of him, i'm a little proud to be like yeah, his dick was in my mouth saturday no big deal.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You had sex with him even after he literally described himself as a "coldplay guy"? There's a line you just don't cross. There is a line.
two fat guys on crotch rockets just invited me to 'party' with them at a del taco. why does this keep happening to me?
she's using motion activated glade air fresheners as some sort of early warning system
I just need to go to a bar tonight wrapped in an American flag singing the national anthem
Just thought you should know that we coat checked our fairy wings last night. Getting belly up to the bar was way more important that wearing our costumes.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She told me I made the cut, and to write my name and number on the white board by the door. I was the 7th number down.
Bored at work. googling vodka waffles.
She rode my dick so hard I momentarily lost hearing. I guarantee I had the better St Patrick's.
The CEO is on this whole 'what do you do with your spare time?' kick. Umm... get drunk and have sex in bar parking lots.
It's a sad day when ur phone automatically updates u on Thursdays that traffic is normal and how long it will take to get to the bar
That's fucking great actually
It’s the universal cock block of this decade
FUCK THE COCKBLOCK 19
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