I just bought a CD. I feel like a traitor to my generation.
I already brushed my teeth, and it's not even noon yet. Today's going to be a productive day.
found scuba porn. totally not sexy. life continues to disappoint.
Makin mac and cheese without you. Definitely seem to do this better inside you. Splashed boiling water on my cock
Dude so coolest charity idea ever, think aids walk but instead of miles you drink beers oh the possibilities
she's traveling up the coast with her camera and a stash of pot cookies eating food from different campuses. said she slept in a closet 2 states away last nite... of course I'm interested
First highlight of the semester: campus safety caught me peeing in the dirt parking lot by kappa. Then as they were about to write me up, they recognized me, laughed, and left.
I don't know when it is this year, but if I ever text you an illegible text that also happens to contain sharks, Shark Week started.
Strangers are buying me shots and I got hit on by lesbians. How is it only tuesday
We dug deep emotionally while eating cereal
No more weed for you
I need you to go into my room and get some pants then bring them and four band aids to Sam's apartment no questions
Pretty sure the waitress here is concerned about well being bc I've been here drinking by myself for 3 hours. If only I could show here FB so she'd know I'm not alone...
Facebook: “Hey you fucked on a diving board, you should probably should wish him a happy birthday”
What am I supposed to say? "Oh hey, I can't go out with you tonight because I can't picture myself sleeping with you and I was high and just trying to be nice when I said yes"?
Can you get the dildos out of the shower before the maids come?
Randomize
