I didn't go out last night, but I dreamed that I blacked out and the *CRAZY* thing I did was to eat 12 cupcakes off 12 diff plates and stack them up neatly. If I had a life, I'd hate it.
All I remember is running out of the bathroom with one shoe on and the other in my hand. Pretty sure I was yelling as well.
yea, there's something about a stripper whipping you with your own belt that makes you think
What's grosser: using a dirty sex towel as an oven mitt? or using the oven to reheat superbowl bean dip for dinner?
Just had the best idea EVER: start a mead brewing/dispensery business! WE CAN BREW IT IN MY GIANT CLOSET, AND NEVER BE SOBER AGAIN.
I creeped him on fb. I'm about 90% sure I just blew him in the same tux he wore for his wedding..
I mean I'm screaming I love the gays in the middle of Bart so yeah
List 10 things your GF won't do for you, and we can work through that list.
Idk my boobs are big but i dont think theyre hide a flask in them big..
I have a bunch of bug bites on my ass... This is why you don't have sex against a tree in the woods
I AM A GOOD PERSON AND THEREFORE I DESERVE QUALITY DICK!
we've talked on the toilet we're linked now
You weren't singing into a microphone in front of an audience. You were screaming into your fist in the check-out aisle in Walmart.
Just slather his penis with BBQ sauce
I remember you banged her while I was dying on your couch, so good call
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