I just saw a stripper wear a tube top around her floppy gut. God bless Michigan.
no. you can't hotbox the world.
i purposely bought her a small sweater. My way of saying, you've gotten fat.
I guess you can say it's a tradition... whoever brings home the ugliest guy has to do all the cleaning the next day
Just tell him to eat fruit before so it tastes good. Then it's just like shotgunning a smoothie
They gave me a glowstick necklace to wear so they could locate me if I wandered off into the woods
I just fell down the stairs in the library and further deviated my septum. That's why I don't study.
why the fuck are my pubes caked with bread crumbs?
He answered his phone while he was eating me out and proceeded to yell at his wife for interrupting lunch...impressed or rock bottom?
The least you could do is send me some gibberish so I know you're alive.
Fuhga
Thank you.
YOU WOULD BE SEEING ME. IN MY KITCHEN. BENDING OVER MY OVEN. MAKING YOU CAKE.
Wait, that's an option?
I fucking hate tequila. Tequila makes me hate pants.
You texted him 17 times. Asking for him back and sending random pictures of Jimmy Buffett. He didn't answer.
So if he doesn't show up do we eat his birthday cake? Because I'm stoned and wrestling is on. What's the proper protocol
What am I thankful for..I figured out I can drink on antibiotics without getting sick thanks to the power of pot gummies
Randomize
