We are surrounded by old people. Heavens waiting room for sure.
you may be an alcoholic when your drug dealer calls to yell at you for drinking too
I skipped class, don't know why though bc all I did in the meantime was cook pancakes and watch infomercials..my life sucks
i'll never see her again. i cant remember her last name. this is like cinderella except prince charming drank too much jameson and couldnt save a phone number properly
Nothing like a 3am firealarm to kick a booty call out...
We didn't even make it to the door before they came out saying we weren't allowed in because of last time..
A man that refers to my vagina in third person is a man after my own heart.
Benefits of having to stay in jail for the weekend: learned how to make my own make up out of colored pencils. Also how to make use of toothpaste for hair products. Downfall was probably getting hit on by a murderer. Only me.
the only thing she has in her apt so far is toilet paper and shot glasses. you can see where the priorities lie.
Like I'm not tryna become president or marry a doctor or some shit here, like one level above garbage is all I'm asking for
Also this just in, I think you could see my sequins underwear that say unwrap me through my leggings all day while I hung out with his family
while giving me head, she stopped, looked up at me smiling and said "ill never be able to look at bananas the same way again" and then went back to work.
I wish I was there so i could bitch slap his incredibly sexy face
His mom came while we were asleep naked and started asking me about my plans after high school... Is that even a thing.
Yah. I'm gonna lay you down and feed you grapes, except I'm gonna replace grapes for my balls
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