OMG. Drunk.
I'm so glad you fill me in on these things.
Sorry. Must've been trying to twitter.
it was like getting a handjob from mrs. butterworth
a queef is a wish your heart makes.
I don't even know what he looks like, all i've seen of him is his dick
the rest of him looks just as crooked
Someone sent me a drink from across the bar. It was water.
Just walked past a girl wearing nothing but flip flops and an oversized sweatshirt crying by the front gates eating pizza. i just found your soulmate.
Let's just say, at one point i got woken up at 4am by a naked guy who was offering me steak, in a cup.
He's like a perfect storm of amazing hair and horrible judgment.
you threw up into the pocket of your shirt. which was pretty damn polite
I can feel your movements against the shared wall we are leaning up against. It makes me feel as though we are one. Queue Pocahontas song...
i was thinking shit as she was saying it. it was a sarcasm time loop
10 shots in she's sitting on the floor using the open dishwasher door as a plate to eat her "life giving" pizza.
He flew in from NY last night. We had sex in the back of my car in the airport parking lot and then he fed me fresh Babka (from Breads Bakery) as I drove him home. I can't decide if I love him or Babka more.
I think I'm just going to get a farm, a vibrater, and a lot of wine.
There were a lot of gay moments in between the Strippers and coke
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