And I just remember seeing him for the first time and being like, who is this ape of a man? Like legit he could be the missing link
she takes plan B like it's going out of style
he wanted to have sex on the little rocking chair but i was too high to figure out how to do that so we did it on the floor.
I've had cake for breakfast the past 3 days. You tell me how bikini season is going.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We turned everything surrounding BP and the oil leak into a "that's what she said" drinking game. We've been drunk for a month
I just don't understand how a line to ride a camel on a college campus could be too long for you to wait in.
Just orgasmed in canada. I should get a sticker or something that says I orgasmed in a different country.
I knew it would get worse when I said I think your roommate is watching and he looked over at him and said ... So?
Why is there a video on my phone of us trying to snort a line of Reeces Pieces with you chanting "This is how fat girls party"?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
im so proud of her that she got shit faced finally. This must be what it feels like to see you kids get their diploma or some shit.
Dude just texted me asking if I could drive 45 mins for a quickie dude use your hand
He sent me a snapchat of himself growing a double chin. I think we're past the stage where there's any risk of us sleeping together. Ever.
Man, I meant to go dancing, but accidentally took mushrooms and just threw the frisbee in the park
Surprise ending
She woke up with her hand super glued to the fridge....how the hell am I Supposed to get her off??
Well that didn’t go as expected.
I mean, it ended in you giving each of them a blowjob, so it kinda did.
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