she really just asked how mermaids reproduce.
I just finished washing your number off of my chest. I'm Bryan by the way.
Apparently one comment in my womens studies class cockblocks yourself for an entire semester.
We're celebrating his weight gain and arrest.and by we I mean I, and by celebrating I mean getting dangerously drunk
The money is just too good to quit doing it. I'm using the same justification strippers use.
Topless bubble bath with a lesbian is debatable as a gay experience.
A guy is going to be inside me and I'm gunna start singing "I am stuck on your penis, cause your penis is stuck in meeee!"
Haha, I gave you the rest of the cash I had on me and you bought 3 shots for yourself and beer for everybody except me FUCKFACE.
I don't even remember what he looks like. All I know is he's 6 foot 100. I like that.
He made a playlist to use during sex...that ended with The Ultimate Warrior's entrance music.
So I sent him a snap of me half naked holding a pie last night.
When I woke up I had 6 missed calls making sure I was ok and asking if I remember showing my tits to a picture of her baby.
You told his date she had the tits to be a stripper and the personality to be the pole. Of course he's pissed off.
Masturbating with Lord of the Rings on was not how I planned my afternoon going but here I am.
So I lost my dignity between the strip club and your penis...
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