Well i just wrestled a cop... p.s. i won
I just threw up on my dentist
Capitaan dildo arrescate!
I wish I was that guy from the miller light commercials so I could walk into parties and take peoples beer without getting yelled at
Can you still call it a wet dream if sandwiches were involved?
All I remember was yelling at him, "Its becasue of people like you that it took us so long to get to the moon!"
id like to point out that while i was just peeing a condom fell out of my vag.
There was a community pot of Ramen, and if you were in the pool you were either fully clothes or ass naked.
Oh yes. Made out with a grandmother..... she had fake boobs and it was 330am. That makes it okay.
Mardi gras at its finest.
And I might get them triple pierced after that
Damn, I didn't realize you'd declared war on airport metal detectors
I WAS a history major. I also WAS a functioning human being. Fuck gin.
Nope my penis exudes pure oxygen in times of crisis.
It's national boyfriend day supposedly, would it be appropriate if I posted a picture of my dildo?
A guy I hooked up with YEARS ago just endorsed me on LinkedIn for "customer service".
She called me at 2am crying because her late night booty call moved out of state
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