Dude, I'm in her bathroom and there's crab shampoo... is it worth the risk?
You're missing what this discovery implies... she's got a fucking bush.
I wish there were wingman of the year awards.
one day I'm really going to regret not using the boners I got in planes and cars
I know I'm really high but I swear I just saw him beating off to his fantasy football roster.
just balanced a champagne glass on my gut. thanks to beer im a living breathing tempur-pedic mattress.
so I'm in athletic shorts, a suit jacket and I'm still drunk at 6:30am at the last leg of relay for life
All I can tell you is you will need a rain slicker for tonight's festivities. Any clothes underneath would be highly frowned upon as well.
you have a cum towel under your bed, you're the definition of single
Alosmot hir two of of mt mailanoxwa
Oh Jesus.
I've also decided that the true test of whether or not you should marry a girl is if she will willingly blow you while you eat Oreos.
She did my hair, then ate me out. Switching teams was an awesome decision.
Strip clubs just aren't as fun when a man tries to drunkenly grind on you.
I don't want to resort to having sex with people that actually like me.
I think God is sending me all these 20 year olds to make up for wasting my 20's in that crappy ass marriage. Thanks Big Guy!
Did you fill my inhaler with tequila?
Yeah, so?
Who brings a stripper to breakfast at the dining hall? What was the plan? Impress her with his meal plan?
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