The Worst (noun)- 1. Getting up at 6am after a night of drinking. 2. Wearing a Peter Rabbit costume.
it was like playing where's waldo with your underwear
He's fat, has man boobs, and is uncircumsized. I feel like I won the last woman on earth prize.
Second night spent with creepy guy. I either need to change his nickname or stop doing this.
You're a college freshman. Its your job to be pathetic. And drunk. But mostly pathetic
Is 'too horny to study' a good enough medical excuse to not take a final?
Bailing my boss from jail at five in the morning.. If thats not a promotion I don't what is.
Dedication to a hook up: I had to recruit five people at the train station to help me buy a ticket from a kiosk and get on the right train in 15 minutes because I discovered that my car was stolen.
She stumbled into class and Google image searched nipple piercings for the entire 75 minutes
I can't help you right now because I'm shaving my feet...like a lady.
I know he’s a bad decision but he's casual, his penis is amazing and his technique is on point.
Found a trail of Taco Bell hot sauce packets through the garage to our back door and cheese in my bra. I'll say it was a successful Sunday Funday.
Will u make me a "6 month anniversary of being single" cake??? I wanna celebrate
Last night this creepy guy asked me my name and I told him it was Jaundice and he called me that all night
Went online to check my credit card... $147.87 at Waffle House. $632.36 at "Red Rose Gentleman's Club" and a $1000 cash advance from an ATM. I may no longer be a fiancé.
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