omg he said he wants to insert his penis into my vagnia what do i say
tell him to stop quoting family guy
There is a reason Crest White Strips don't list masturbation as one of the myriad of activities to do while whitening your teeth. A very good reason.
i'm sure there's a big cosmic reason for things working out the way they did. like, now you have awesome images to masturbate to.
HER PREGGO ASS BROUGHT SPEGHETTI-O'S... IN HER PURSE.
spring break forecast: sunny with a chance of shitshow
i was trying to find the best way to say come over and have sex, without saying it.
She rolled over this morning and asked "did you refer to my vagina as splash mountain last night? "
My near death experience also doubled as my coming out story
they all just nodded
And the best part is I don't remember putting the condom in my pocket! Angels officially exist
I have a cut on my head from a tambourine.
So like 5 seconds in I realize I knew him in 3rd grade and I went limp in his mouth. It felt like I just murdered the last unicorn ever. Going straight never felt like an option till now.
I'm calling into work tomorrow for day drinking and kitten shopping. Totally legitimate.
Note to self... Do not stick your head in a can of paint and try to paint the walls green with your hair
I need to shower three times. First to be clean, second to wash off all sins, and third will classify as baptism.
I just landed at Logan and some guy threw up in the baggage carousel. Boston never really changes
Randomize
