I almost didn't recognize her with a shirt on.
I was going to clean my house but wine sounded better
why did they invent bidet's? your butt gets clean when your poop falls in the toilet and splashes up anyway...
just bought 2000 rhinestones and a heart shaped stencil at Micheals...I think the cashier knows i'm Vajazzling
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Somehow after we left in 3 different cars to all go to different places we still all ended up in the emergency room
after she rolled over and said 'i'm so glad you're like my gay best friend, love you' then left. did i just get friendzoned AFTER sex??
The bartender just legitimately thanked me for breaking the cycle of speed metal by playing mmmbop.
i don't think that has ever happened before in the history of man
There something about a girl that pirates lemonade off a restaurant fountain as a mixer that I find intriguing.
You pole danced in your parka.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Would it be wrong to text my ex and say "congratulations on the new baby that you had with a stripper"?
You peed in my kitchen, while crying and insisting my floor was a toilet.
Idk... he wears anklets.. i dont think i can get past that.
yeah....try hearing them in person. it sounds like two muppets going at it
You where banging on the wall asking us where we hid the door...you then crawled under the deck thinking you'd be safe. I told you to eat the nachos before the party...I told you.....
In other news there's 12 shirtless Korean dudes all trying to jump on a tiny little trampoline so that's entertaining
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