Woke up. Made a pizza. Burnt it. Going back to bed cuz today sucks
is it normal that we went to that class once and both got 100's on the final? ohhhh, arizona state.
Drawing dicks in the frost on people's windshields is a rare joy I allow myself while walking to my 8 AM class.
I drank mimosas and played bocce ball in the middle of finals week...now i know how Comm majors feel all the time.
i dont feel like going...you don't know how much work goes into getting my whore on
Facebook stalking a girl from Germany is harder then you think.you have to copy and paste all this shit into freetranslations.com then try and piece together an awkward sentence. If only I could put this energy into something productive.
Walked in on my boss having phone sex at work... and somehow this didnt bother nor embaress him
I came so hard that my back seriously popped like 5 times.
Also: how drunk is your brother? He just left me a message as batman.
I just told a kid I was in a wheelchair because Santa shot me due to me being on the naughty list. You should have seen this little bastards face
You made me take a photo of you under the stairs at the bar. "Look I'm Harry Potter."
Btw "you gettin a workout in" isn't a great gym pickup line. Like no I'm fucking grabbing lunch on my way to class.
The most adult decision I've mad today was Jameson or Fireball? It's been a successful Day
My desire to pee is a lot higher than my need to be buzzed right now.
You wanna explain to me why there is a banana shoved down my pants?
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