one should ask oneself what kind of lifestyle one is leading when one finds a handprint of semen on their pillow the next day.
so he must've not known that your lastname is Came because everytime someone would say your name he would scream "NO SHE DIDNT" to the whole party. He must've not been too good then either.
he couldn't find his key, so we just had sex on his parent's porch while we waited for his mom to get home.
I definitely managed to work the word "aforementioned" into the conversation.. At least I'm an intelligent sexter.
I can't be drunk. Sober yes. Drunk no. Spoonfuls
Also, I think I'm too drunk to be at the gym right now. But how sober do you need to be for IM volleyball?
At least you got some premium homework time. Still drinking vodka from a coffee cup?
I switched to water. When the numbers get blurry you are no longer being productive.
Every time you started making out for him we all cheered for you... that's what sorority sisters do - they cheer you on when you make bad life decisions at the bar.
Thanks for bailing me out last night guys. it's bullshit that everbeering people at bars is illegal. bitches have no sense of adventure anymore
its cute though when you google his name more than one mug shot comes up from different states
So glad I decided to show up and puke in your trashcan.
These are the moments that bond souls forever.
I walked home with him, but I had to pee...so I did...as we walked. He was so drunk he didn't even notice. Good thing I was in a dress.
im questioning your sanity while also accepting your reality
Eating pizza in the bath tub while watching a romantic comedy alone. I reached a new level of single.
Did I literally just offer a blowjob for help moving? Yes. Yes, I did.
Randomize
