i just woke up and "where the fuck is taco bell" was in my search engine...
Watching marley and me... this girls got me whipped man
Dude, I don't care how big her tits are. I have to dump her. She shit in my shower.
how do you say happy birthday to the guy that almost got you pregnant? i cant just write the same thing as last year.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Of course my walk of shame coincided with the alumni marathon on campus. But, I did get a thumbs up from the woman handing out water.
Its against the rules to not make you aware of his virgin situation prior to penetration
I'm crossing my legs while pooping. Taking a shit has never looked so proper.
I don't know how I feel about the stuff we got from that guy. Me and Monty are driving through town listening to static at full blast...
My goal is to upperdeck the house I'm at, because it's some girl I don't know's birthday. Welcome to adulthood, bitch.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You don't care if I shave my legs, but you insist I be conscious for sex. Whatever. I really think your priorities are out of whack.
You know what, don't say anything. You all made fun on me for saying I would fuck him junior year when he taught us algebra and six years later, HERE I AM.
Tell her this is the Disneyland of penises.It's a magical place everyone should visit once in their life.
I'm not gonna lie. The only reason I haven't drank a whole bottle of crown tonight is because we only had 3/4 of a bottle left.
I just fell and sprained my ankle in the shower. No, I wasn't having sex. I was doing the time warp. Again.
drunkkkkk be here I heart you
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