You're mentally unstable and I would hate to be you
My moms helping me unpack but im getting a little nervous because I dont remember where i put my dildo
Don't know whats worst me sharding on her a bit or her believing me when i told her she did it...
just watched an entire episode so you think you can dance for head. so wasn't worth it
Just gave my little brother the collection of clothes that boys have left in my room since I've been in college for his birthday.
thats what you get for writing a paper after liquor pitchers
its only a rough draft.
I'm still not completely convinced I'm not pregnant. I just dipped beef jerky in cream cheese frosting.
As if me making pizza in a skillet wasn't enough proof that I was in no state to be cooking, this burn blister on my hand is
You know where a good place to spend summer is? In your head. High as shit. It doesn't matter where you are.
Can we just talk about how awesome I am. I just slept with a new guy while listening to the previous guys bands cd.
my make-up looks really good tonight. I swear it had nothing to do with me finishing all of your strawberry vodka.
just remember the most important rule of taking psychedelics: monsters can't get through blankets
you seriously don't remember..? but then again, you were taking shots by yourself for like 30mins
My Captain America poster fell down. Cap is disappointed in my life decisions.
I'm glad we can *facepalm* it together over the married couple we fucked separately.
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