I dont like him- his parents were home and he hid me in his closet like anne frank
I think i found my new favorite workout. Go to a party where you dont know anybody and constantly walk around the house so you dont look awkward standing alone. im up to 1.8 miles
i have one hour to talk myself into enjoying giving him a blow job when i get home
I'm reducing my diet to vodka and rice cakes.
All I remember was yelling at him, "Its becasue of people like you that it took us so long to get to the moon!"
I dont even clean my room anymore .. i drunk proof it for when i come back smashed with a guy
Miss Michigan hasn't even been Miss USA for 24hrs and already stripper pole pics are surfacing. Classy.
I'm going to superglue stuart's hands into socker boppers
playing nyquil roulette. it entails taking shots of nyquil and hoping it doesnt kick in during sex or in public. game on.
i fucking swear, saying shit like "i dont get jealous" is like personally inviting your slutty friend to fuck the guy you slept with like a month ago
Decided I'm going to wear a shirt that says "I'm sorry" whenever we go back to that fraternity
I am having telepathic thoughts with my cat. He loves me and wants me to blow his nose
He was referring to me as "Teenage Dream" the whole night
Some bitch is passed out in a pool of vomit. Fucking lightweight, it's only 8.30.
Oh, wait.. That's you.
I would have wore underwear last night if I knew I had to change a tire this morning
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