So she farted while we were having sex but I was afraid she would stop because she was emberessed so i just went ahead and took the blame and apologized
seriously i just wanna be friends
pass
pop tarts are not kleenex
I woke up in what appears to be a taco bell graveyard in my bed.
My dad walked in on me masturbating in my own apartment.....my own apartment!!
...She just said, "We've been blessed with good drugs lately."
You're just mad that I don't wanna have dugout sex with you
I need to find out this kids work schedule. I need mustache rides on my lunchbreaks.
i decided if i had to, i could survive with only 3 fingers on each hand.
I called him a "Beautiful Bastard" with "Beautiful Bastard Hair". That is how you pick up a guy from Denmark.
I slept with a Brazillian Man, That's why I'm Watching The World Cup
Also the girl beside me smells like she's been in a deep fryer.
You're not talking any sense into me. You're cheering me on to disaster.
... is that not half the reason I'm your best friend in the first place?
That went from 0 to lesbian orgy much faster than expected...
You drank the pool water to get rid of your hiccups
Randomize
