i feel like this needs to be a 'lose some teeth' kind of weekend.
its friday night, im aone in my apartment and eating 2 year expired canned fruit, naked. i'm not single or anything..
There are parrots here and they're headbanging to the music. There's also a clown and a pit bull that can jump onto tables. Too high for this shit.
Change of plans I'm coming home and shotgunning all the beer we have.
And by "schedule" I meant crumbled up liquor store receipt, that I wrote shit on.
It's always a good night until the penis tattoo makes an appearance
Also I like this area. Lots of places for me to get tacos.
I'm a complete klutz, especially when I get excited. I pee a lot too. I'm like a puppy except I don't pee in the floor.
Watching boy meets world, drinking left over pink panty droppers and coloring in a my little pony coloring book. This is my Monday night
I didn't pop out of a cake in a speedo with diagrams
In case that's what u were picturing
We got to his house, cuddled while watching game of thrones, then fucked during the repeat airing.
That's a gentle way of saying I passed out like an 18-year-old on his first trip to Tijuana
Was that you calling me at 4am asking to borrow a rubber ducky and a tampon?
You laid on the floor and pet their rug. and then demanded Voss water.
This Cougar is looking at me like I’m a piece of meat and buying me top shelf cocktails
I’m getting a fear boner thinking about what she might do to me
Randomize
