Dude michael jackson died, guess he's not 'stayin aliveee' any longer.
Uh dude that wasn't a michael jackson song it was the BGs
I'm gonna keep this simple. I threw up in your pillow case. Sorry.
dude...I wrote 15 jersey shore quotes on her body. she is going to do the walk of shame with snookie on her forehead.
I feel like I've been slapped by Gods icy cold dick of vengeance.
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I feel the need to point out that one of the items on my to-do list for the day is "don't throw up" I have no concept of normal
My only downfall is that I can only take shots in twos.
do u know what happened to the bottles last night?
apparently we hid them.... i google mapped the location into my phone
All I know is I want him to tie me up at least twice a week and I have an overwhelming urge to cook for him. Could this be love? I'm so confused....
I look like i have multiple stab wounds in my foot and there are footprints from the elevator to my room. What happened?
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I actually had to tell him that sex doesn't replace my Tupperware. Our relationship has reached a weird level.
Hey, YOU try working out drunk every night! Besides, I think at least one of those bruises is a hickey.
It feels appropriate that the wallet of my high school and college years would die at the hands of a spilled bong. Which in and of itself is a solid metaphor for those years.
He seemed genuinely disappointed when I told him I wasn't going to make out with him to Bring Me To Life by Evanescence so I feel like I've pinpointed the breaking point of this relationship
You told me that you would let her eat cake off of your ass, then fell asleep on the floor
It's not christmas until we're acting sober in front of grandma
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