Considering the face that your still in jail Im gunna go with no.
so high driving around just saw a woman in a pink shirt chillin riding a horse
so high at work that a 35 year old with his kids handed me visine and winked at me. you win with the horse though
Please stop sending me picture messages of your shit. Seriously. I don't care if it looks like popcorn chicken.
Just farted in public and tried to sniff it all up before anyone noticed...do you think that actually works?
And he tried to make it as casual as possible by asking where i was going on vacation while he was poundin me.
You told me when we were leaving the club if I could pin point your nipple through your padded bra you would show me if I was right.
I feel like I can hear facebook. What did we smoke?
yolo... Doesn't that stand for 'shut the fuck up'?
I pulled an all nighter. So hoped up on coffee and aderall. Pretty sure you could take my pulse through a snow jacket...
On a not really funny at all but kinda brighter note I've gotten really good at texting in hand cuffs
I just googled: how soon can I pee on a stick. What is my life coming to.
quickly learned not to sleep with your roommate and work colleague in the same week
I realized it was late, and he was my brother in humanity and another incarnation of my own life force and consciousness, so I regained control of myself, thanked him for helping me, and went home.
i doubt you are even in possession of a crowbar.
I suggest you not find out the hard way
I accidentally put Bacardi in my coffee this morning. I ain't even mad.
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