Whatever my ex gf's roomates talked shit about me so I jizzed in their shampoo bottle one night
My history teacher just took his shirt off cuz the classroom was to hot. And then he invited us all to join him.
He got tattooed, peirced, and we're pretty sure he got rufeed by that fat chick. He was like a walking spring break stereotype.
Ps. I feel like I may pee myself this weekend. Either drunkenly or out of excitement. Toss up
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Get this. Chipped my front tooth taking a sip of a gay mans beer out of my cleavage. Fuck my fucking life. that'll be fun to explain to my dentist
Long story short, the rash from your last birthday party told me not to go to this one.
I was to the point where my socks were drenched in ranch dressing
I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL?
If he can forgive your lousy blowjobs, you can ignore his terrible driving.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
hope your day is as exciting as mine- one of our trauma patients just stole an ambulance out of our bay... WITH AN EMT STILL IN IT.
My sheer presence has sent the hipsters running in terror. I expect no problems.
Cleaned the whole house at 7:30 and after cleaning the bathroom I think I had cocaine on my sweatpants
So unofficially, he told me he deleted tinder because of me. I think that's a pretty romantic gesture in 2018.
What are you talking about? Keg stands at wedding are super classy.
I need to leave my mind and my stupid vagina are having fight over who's right