bathroom sex at kohls isnt as trashy as it seems
i can barely afford taco bell don't think a baby is in the budget
He was singing "i gotta feeling" under his breath as i was pulling my top off.
I think I may have appendicitis, but the house is like two blocks from the hospital so I'm just gonna go and drink anyway.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
boobs and vodka. thats all i can remember, finals week needs to stop ending like this..
Def walking back to my apt with a blender, an empty vodka bottle, and a half eAtn drumstick cone.
Finished the final in under ten minutes and then puked in the bushes outside. I don't even care if I graduate anymore.
FUCK YOU. AH. FUCK BOTH OF US MORE BOOZE.
MAS TEQUILA.
Uhh... I think I meant "Be proud, I'm taking shots before my public speaking test." "Coffee and vodka is not good" and "Also, I'm giving blood drunk."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My gyno overestimated by 3 TIMES the amount of sex we have per week. First of all, he must think I'm a freak. Secondly, I think we should catch up.
Cause a man that looks THAT good must have an ass that tastes like lucky charms
so I guess I made a note in my phone last night to remind myself not to do shrooms on the cruise ship
I am googling "notable people who had syphilis"
I am at 99 matches in less than 24 hours, I need a tinder rehab program
I still can't believe a guy pooped in my backyard
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