ISS teacher has a tramp stamp.
Shotgun.
I wish sober me loved running as much as drunk me...
The dentist just giggled when he accidentally shot water across my face, I can sense how he treats women.
I think the best part was when you jumped over me naked.
vodka bottle broke. scooping it out of the plastic tub with a shot glass into a sprite bottle using a ziplock bag as a funnel and straining the glass out with paper towels. good thursday night?
I think I wrote "thanks for the free alcohol!!!" in their wedding guest book and I'm almost positive I signed my name
With me living this close to Mexico now, Tequila is just a geographical choice at this point if nothing else.
Went to an open-bar law school party and puked in front of Justice Scalia. My legal career is now complete -- I literally got judged by a U.S. Supreme Court Justice. Can't get any higher than that.
When my parents ask if I met any nice guys in California, I'm going to answer, "No, but I have gone home with alot of nice girls". Too much, too soon?
After my mom met Tanner, she literally turned and said "he's from old money, top of his class at Emory, already has doctors courting him for jobs and judging from your vocal performance the other night, he's gifted in bed. Fake a pregnancy right now"
I come from her. Holy hell.
There's hot sauce all over my mirror, lamp shade and dresser. Also it's your turn for weed
I actually just took 17 pictures of some guy at the gas station that needs to marry me now
I guess I'll just chalk it up as a learning experience and a lot of great sex.
Wow. Last night.
I knew you were shit blasted when you called me your "sunflower queen"
His life is a porno. He snapped me while banging a girl in the back of the ambulance.
Randomize
