hell no. last time, i couldn't pee straight for a week.
I passed out leaning next to a light pole. When the cop woke me up at 4 AM, I told him I was a block away from the apt, just had to stop to make a puke pit stop.
I am now the only person in my apartment who hasn't had sex in my bed.
Your cock is gonna weep like a baby
When did it become appropriate to call your mother the morning after? While still naked in bed? WHEN?!
That was like a fiery explosion of flailing arms and wonderful passion
Besides the fact that the only male who has shown an interest in me in the last 5 months has a strange and unfortunate resemblance to fucking Frodo, I've been good thanks
my throat is bruised, my back is scarred, my vagina feels like it's going to fall off.. you're like godzilla. you destroy everything.
I woke up in someone's flat in Budapest and then got offered a free piercing before I left. Best. Hookup. Ever.
party tonight. bring as many traffic cones as you can find. we need to section off the blackout drunks way better this time
HIS DICK IS GLORIOUS AND I WANT TO RIDE IT TO VALHALLA
But on a side note, how the fuck do you "accidentally " get peed on
you know your booty call is really trying when he offers to pay the toll for the bridge you have to cross to get to his house
What do you think would be the best way to remove a baby carrot from a vagina?
I’d say they were worth it. He screamed “your tits are fanfuckingtastic!”while he was cumming
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