Is it wrong of me that I wish I could be a midget for a day so I can give head standing up?
I can't go out tonight. I feel like I'm starting to party as much as Farrah on Teen Mom.
she was licking his armpits.
asian porn is just fucking weird. End of story.
what date should I let him know how fucked up I am?
For some reason 'start yourself on fire drunk' isn't nearly as funny after last 4th of july..
Seriously. You just grinded your ass all over the heisman trophy's dick. I want you to think about that.
you know it's gonna be a good 4/20 when you start saving up for it in january.
i know i should keep better track of the things that i put in your vagina but i've put so many things in there it's hard to keep track
The Medal of Honor you banged could be at the inauguration today. You really dropped the ball on keeping up with that one.
Nothing with ever convince me that she wasnt purposely left behind by our mother to ruin my life and fuck our family
I wrote "fuck you meg" on my toaster strudel with the icing. I call it "passive aggressive breakfast"
That amount of times your family has seen my boobs is getting ridiculous.
Goddamn it. Hes got me addicted to his penis
He's gone. He left a note but all it says is "Dear Neil" followed by a drawing of a hand flipping the bird in the direction of a butt.
I thought the dude was just really enjoying his piss but apparently he was jerkin off into the urinal.
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