names aren't important. just tell him all you want is a lil make out sesh and keep it moving.
two more shots til everyone in this club gets to see my cesarean scars.
Also I just saw on facebook your sister is taking pole dancing lessons. Just a heads up.
im kinda looking forward to winter break. ive been away from home for so long i think i can trick my vagina into thinking that these arent the same people ive been hooking up with since high school...
he keeps trying to sext me and all I can do is respond with descriptions of what im eating.
I would not wish his dick upon my worst enemy
nothing worse than walking out of class after 3 hours and having covered exactly zero information
walking out with herpes. that would be worse
The only thing worse than being hungover is being hungover and not able to open your mouth wide enough to eat a cheeseburger
I finally got out of bed at 8:30pm and my little brother informed me that I had cereal stuck to my back. I'm going to smoke a cigarette and go back to sleep.
Is he the circus guy or the bi-curious street preacher?
Is there a reason why your pubic hair is a plastic bag on my bathroom floor? And yes I know its yours... You wrote your name on the bag
You wanna come over?
Too high to be booty called. My cereal is growing hair.
He just peed in the cab. I repeat..IN.
You tried to fight someone about spaghetti o’s?
That hungover.
i read his ps3 instant messaging thing... he's meeting a guy to have sex. i think your boyfriend's gay
Randomize
