You're the only person with a favorite bar in Disneyworld
I even resorted to pole dancing with the street sign. I have an extra $20 now because I think people were paying me to leave.
we are currently watching a singalong porn...just thought you should know
Yup, totally tried cooking bacon in the dryer last night.
I know. I know. The man who pulled me from my mother's womb was the same man who had his fingers in my vagina today. My life is a joke. I don't know how to feel about this.
No more fucking baseball tools. Walk-of-shamed home in only a pinstriped jersey and a Red Sox SnapBack.
I just found a list in your handwriting titled "Places I've Peed." The National Mall and 'under the second bridge after the bend in the road' are two of the tamer entries. I tip my hat.
If I had a dick as big as yours. The world would be an oyster. An oyster smaller than my big penis
I have got to stop taking so many uppers and downers simultaneously. My life is a Dali painting.
I just had to take a picture of someone whose testicles are bigger than my fists combined. Living the dream.
My life is literally "I'm too horny you can't leave" or "let's have pie" there's like no inbetween
So apparently dinosaur erotica does, in fact, exist.
Considering all of my stomach contents ended up in my center console, I'm a bit peckish.
meow
use your words like a big girl
i ran over your cat.
We dont have cups... so were doing shots out of bowls like puppies
Randomize
