your profile still reads that you like women...interesting? I think there is some photography and video that will show otherwise
and that's why we call him explosion in my pants. no one remembers his real name.
oh no you fucking didn't eat my mac and cheese you cunt
I left my toothbrush at her house. This is getting way too serious for me.
If a Romanian girl's marriage isn't considered legal in the US then she's fair game right?
Cops came. Forced us to take the "Honk and We'll Drink" and the "Free Shots to Father's of Freshman Daughters" signs down. Before we did, someone honked and the cop said, "Aren't you gonna drink?" They then told us to move the party inside by ten.
There are too many people and smells in this elevator for my hangover to handle.
I gave you head at the stadium on a Thursday night ESPN game. That damn well better be worth points on the score board!!!
I'm not sending you pictures to jack off to. That's not what friends do
We've started traveling with Michael and Patrick so we can pretend we're two legit straight couples.
A charade that fell apart the second another couple on the cruse found Sarah face down in my box on an observation deck.
I don't care who you bring as long as they are fun and not a cop
My nerves will need dicks later so.. I'll call you
Okay everything with a penis is officially dead in my eyes
I have 4 more smokes and 6 more beers to go before I make a life changing decision like that.
His sisters are going to have a heyday finding all those condoms in their bunk beds.
Randomize