She told me she got a 15 on her A.C.T.. that's when I knew it was a done deal.
Is it proper Ass-Fingering-Etiquette to tell her u felt her poop or just pretend it didn't happen?
Just wondering why in an apartment full of stoners there is half a waffle in the TRASH CAN. get ur shit together man
you figure out which one you wanna sleep with, & I'll sleep with the other one. problem solved
I just found him singing into an empty paper towel roll while microwaving an empty ice cream carton. I'm gonna run away now.
I'm laying in the fetal position on the floor of my kitchen eating potato salad with my fingers. Please come over with some real food and keep me company.
Apparently she has a 10 week old kid, which would explain the hallway effect I was feeling.
I took a sleeping pill while he was in the bathroom. Time for a game of how long can we bang before I fall asleep.
You are both horrible and amazing
Slept at my ex's best friends house while my ex was locked out and I walked by him sleeping in his car this am
Well my summer has already been productive. I partially caused a divorce.
I'm never going to adult. I'm staying a child. The only thing related to adult that I want to do is you.
i just used a selfie stick to take an ass pic. i hate myself.
I just texted him from the other room to come have sex with me-stress relieved
You are such a millennial
I've seen too many naked penises for this to be a normal Monday morning
I don't think there's a ladylike way to tell this guy I want to sit on his face
Randomize
