Question: terrible or awesome when a girl give you head so vigorously that you get a hickey of sorts
Best part is I totaly had to get into my dads car like I didn't have my pants off two minutes ago.
I'm so over stopping myself from talking about my sexual experiences in front of children.
The pickup line "You look exactly like my sister" would only work in Arkansas...SCORE!!
i just stepped in cum. i hate you.
Thats what happens when you don't swallow.
FACT: the parking lot attendant was yelling "NO SEX HERE! NO SEX" at yall.
in fingerprint form on my ass. Seriously not cool. \ni bruiiiseeee like a delicate fruiiiitttt. Heeeaaarrr the rythymmm
Worrying about "What smells like cat pee?" is so much easier than worrying about "What am I doing with my life?"
he just kept texting even after we lit his shoelaces on fire. he just calmly walked into the pool... still texting.
If you're going to drink sriracha straight from the bottle whilst crying, at least wear the giant sombrero for the enjoyment of your audience.
I'm just waiting for the avalanche of beef.
I tried to prevent a bar fight. By convincing a guy whacked out on Molly to slap the ass of everyone who was arguing and shout "WOO" each time. I'm proud, surprised, and intrigued that it calmed everyone down so quickly...
So what's the protocol on sending your exes new wife a baby shower gift that says "thanks for getting him the hell out of my life, please keep him there!"?
we're having rib night followed by a cultural enlightenment party
whats a cultural enlightenment party
we eat nachos and drink margaritas and tequila till we pass out
If he’s halfway attractive, employed and cool with me having boytoys, I’ll marry him
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