problem. drunk. stepbrother hitting on me again. help.
While sitting in bed naked eating ramen and watching the colbert report I realize why random sex happens.
my friend asked What a UTI was in front of everyone, letts just say his girlfriend was a lil pissed
so its official, girls can see a boner through my snuggie.
Me+graduation party+hammered drunk+polish horseshoes in the dark= black eye, crying, pissed, passed out in my dress... How was your weekend?
If you ever find a dick that big chop it off and bring it to me.
Definitely Got caught hugging a strangers tree last night with 5 others.
When this bachelor party is over and your life is in ruins, you have my permission to die.
Okay, I just got to our real hotel and the YMCA may have been a better choice. A man w/ no shirt on
I sent her a picture of Richard Nixon and said "these are the only dick pics I send".
I swear, the cow we tried to tip tried to eat me. and all I could think was, oh how the tables have turned. worst trip ever
He came over and watched the USA game with me, fucked me so good my toe cramped, then made my bed this morning before he left. Thank God for Army rangers
tbh I think I just dated him for his dogs in the first place.
You added his wife on Facebook?! You're horrible at this mistress thing
Adderall went through the wash. Took it anyway. Wish me luck.
Randomize
