i can't watch a movie tonight dude, im smoking weed
you smoke with your eyes?
Life Lesson Number 76: Masturbating into a sock is useless if there is a hole in it.
I'm thinking of having one or both of my boobs out. They're small but they're mighty.
Girl in my class with fire painted on her face. I. need. that. weed.
Wow, haven't had to deal with the 'stoned at the dinner table' scenario in a while
he was wearing a tuxedo, i was naked...it's a long story.
you're the best thing to happen to me. closely followed by learning to ejaculate, and drugs.
It wasn't until i was on my knees with three dicks in my face that i thought it might be a bad idea
I think it's time we have the "weird fetish" talk.
why didn't you tell me his penis tasted like oreos?
I know he'd never cheat on me. It'd be like choosing Mexican tap water over Patron.
You have no idea the kind of bodily contortions I had to do to access your neighbor's WIFI
THEYRE FUCKING GOLD
Are you talking about the color of my tits or the quality of my nudes cause both are
I would just like to say that I had morning sex today to the Hamilton soundtrack. So.
I got some blow and a hand job from one of the strippers. So I guess I'm getting over the divorce.
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