He spelled "beautiful" wrong in his text
Well for one thing, she was eating rice with a shot glass.
I just typed my entire senior project presentation on my blackberry,
Down at cameli's and some homeless dude just pulled out a taser. Awesome.
Im sick of reading dumb tattoos while having sex
We still going to Happy Hour
Idk. I can't because it doesn't fit in my schedule of sleeping or throwing up
3 things. 1) we need alcohol 2) we need alcohol 3) we need tortilla chips. Let's make a plan. Bro shakes and salsa.
My password hint says "not sunset, also facebook." i need to stop doing computer things while high. I will never figure this clue out.
We told our cab driver we'd give him 3 grand if he pit maneuvered you guys in your cab.
In the UK. Bar special, every drink costs a pound. I'm two shots away from being deported. God save the queen.
I was thinking more like a "sorry you can hear us, but I'm having the best sex of my life" cake
Please warn me if you ever end up in porn, cause I don't want to stumble across that on accident, okay?
I just realized that in 3 weeks it becomes sad if I make everything into a drinking game. Fuck growing up
Ordained minister or not I hereby renounce all moral responsibility for any and all related occurrences
I'm sorry I told you to go fuck yourself after you said good morning to me when I was hungover.
Randomize
