Why did you send me a picture of a dick?
It was an accident sry. Not mine tho.
seriously this is one of those moments where im glad i dont really talk to or know the people i sleep with
Well said.
I just read the lonely terrorist on nwa had 40 more friends than me on facebook
And now that i don't feel so bad because you're not pregnant the $15 for the pregnancy test I bought would be appreciated
i had to cut you off after you shoved a bunch of bottle caps in your mouth and pretended you had braces.
I had no where to run... The dumpster sounded like a good idea at the time
When you hit the 45 minute mark of any argument about The Flintstones, you have to realize: it's no longer you arguing, it's the cocaine arguing.
bah. we'll see. don't give yourself a boner of false hope.
I would just like to point out that someone I had sex with drove me so I could have sex with you. I deserve some type of "most loyal booty call ever" award.
They invented a new game at work. Its called guess if I'm baked, hungover, drunk, or some combination of the three. Its surprisingly very difficult..
It's truly amazing how much porn I can get in while my phones at 1% battery life.
Sext: Bring me pancakes from the midnight breakfast gathering please
you were holding her above your head singing Circle of Life in what i assume was a Simba reference. then she smacked her head on a bar light and the bouncers kicked you out
So what happened at girls night? My roomate found me passed out locked out on the front steps of the house and it was raining. Yes low moment
DRUNK COOKIES
Are you drunk or are the cookies drunk or are these cookies that get you drunk?
Yes
Randomize
