I think we should see other people.
Already working on it.
our school mascot just walked into class and threw condoms everywhere. welcome to college
Please return the baby Jesus and sheep to the quad
ya she's here .. it looks like she just gave up and passed out on the floor
And im sorry for wishing your girlfriend gets genital warts.
Pretty sure I just heard the turkey yell "don't put me in there" as it was going in the oven. way too high for this holiday.
in case you were wondering, even a BJ under a blanket on the back of a bus only lifts a 14-hour bus ride to borderline tolerable.
I accidentally got a lemon stuck in your bong. I was trying to make it taste good. Sorry
Please tell me joes at work safe and sound and doesn't smell like jail?
If you're not going to call the girls I bring around by name, at least don't call them by number. It's been cockblocking since girl #47. Dick.
Dropping acid was like seeing the whole world as a blank canvas to imagine anything I wanted.
And apparently all you wanted was to watch the sun explode and me take 60,000 dicks to the face.
She seriously left me for a guy that likes his own statuses on facebook.....
Today's walk of shame includes last nights hair and make up, an 8 hour shift, me leading a meeting and me throwing up in a parking lot on my way to work. Dear world, you're welcome.
I AM SO HORNY, I AM GOING TO DIE. I NEED SOMEONE TO WISH MY VAGINA A MERRY CHRISTMAS.
Homeboy just asked me to strip for him. He should not be this horny and allowed to be in Vegas with his kid.
Randomize
