overheard a conversation between 2 lesbians: 'back when I used to have dick sex...' oh, vegas, I so heart you
she gave me one of her senior pics and told me specifically to give it to you. In other words she still wants to suck your dick.
I called the bar to ask if they found my Id and credit card and they remembered me as 'the girl who signed her receipt in blood'
just skyped with my friend to listen in on the people talking shit about me in the library. creepy or strategic?
Reason #1 for no sex outdoors: Mosquito bites. Awkward, awkward mosquito bites.
Your penis has nothing to do with my throat infection, sorry...
I held a cracker & gaterade down for an hour. I feel like this will be my greatest accomplishment of the day.
You don't have to believe me. My vagina knows it happened.
In fact, not a good idea to go into any house alone after a man invites you in from his balcony.
I'm not upset because i like you. I'm upset because I can't use you for the sex anymore.
I performed "get broken glass out of my shoulder" surgery last night... Drunk, with a what-a-burger straw.
What I'm trying to say is, that time you chained me to my dresser and made me beg for it was incredibly romantic.
It's all fun and games until some random starts jerking it on the deck.
Just took a shower for the sole purpose of getting off without using my hands... I've reached a new level of summer-lazy.
I can't be held responsible for what I do for you after a blowjob like that.
Randomize
