some 7 year old just told me his favorite rapper was eminem and kim got what she deserved...god damn today's youth is in a dark period
At first I felt shameful, waking up naked next to a box of oreos and half a can of cake frosting...then I realized, this could be a bigger discovery than Atlantis.
She turned over and said "You smell like my dad, i just can't do this"
he has cookie breath... dont trust fat people.
You're the only person I know who would say "we'll play it by ear" referring to a threesome
Why does he only make me orgasm when I'm about to break up with him?
Road construction signs are deceptively heavy
Apparently I took one a huge picture off the wall at the bar and was walking around dancing with it..
God damn him and his understanding ways and little hip muscle things.
We love you just as you are but we might love you more if we didn't have to post bail so often...
what kind of one night stand wants to walk you home in the morning? whole diff kind of walk of shame.
One day. I will touch his hair. I'm curious if it'll be like a soft cloud.
I'm sorry about the spring break comment. I won't make anymore pornos, I promise.
FYI telling a guy that you're glad his dick isn't big after giving him a bj, is NOT a compliment.
It’s amazing such a big dick belongs to such a boring guy
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