i just realized that no matter how many potstickers i eat, i will never be asian
I realized today that the only reason you made out with Travis is because he has nice teeth
Whenever I don't wipe thoroughly after shitting, I just think that anyone if anyone sticks their finger up my ass, they had it coming.
I got to stop making out with my boss at work. I think we should just get it overwith, be dissaponted and move on.
I used the word aforementioned in my paper. That's an automatic A in community college.
Tell me why Im cashing out of Walmart with Smirnoff and catfood
Dude dan is so baked he taped his remote to the futon so he couldn't lose it again. Come over here
im swimming of confusion and bacardi. where do i go from herrrrrre
I have blocked the memory from my mind. He is just a fuzzy cloud floating with my other bad decisions..
You threw up with your ski mask on still.
I'm giving you a get out of sober free card for one of the nights
Codeine + Boredom = Sprinting between my front and back door.
It wasn't so much skinny dipping. It more like skinny walking...through a fountain.
It's disgusting. He breathes through his mouth and just sounds fat. Plus he chews all loud and shit.
He dated a girl who could do the damn splits on his dick like how do you compete with that
Randomize
