We drank from noon till 5 am, there was adderall and nice jews involved it was just crazy
maybe we dont have boyfriends because we dont have tans
Sooo, his balls are like... bigger than my head...
when i got to my bed there was a handwritten note that said "wash the sheets." sleeping on the couch.
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so we were pounding it out and someone knocked on the wall and was shouting at us
that didnt stop you
nope
I checked into jail on foursquare
Is it wierd that you're going to be my best man and you've fucked my wife?
Watching crazy stupid love and drinking alone isn't what I thought it was gonna be
Its TONS better. Expect a drunk dial at 11:54
Some random walked into our tent, woke her up and said "Harry Potter must not go back to Hogwarts!"
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As the bouncer was escorting you out, you yelled "keep your filthy dick beaters off me!"
He would come to class in wrapped in nothing but a pink towel
I made him dress me after we fucked. He put me in TMNT pants and then told me I looked hot.
So you broke your ribs while fucking? Dude you just got about 25% hotter.
I’m a lady. I promise I won’t oogle your junk when we go skinny dipping.
Pretty sure my aunt hooked up with one of my brothers frat brothers at his graduation party
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