i just borrowed 5 dollars from my eight year old sister. i'm at a new low
OMG MY MOM JUST ASKED IF I WAS GETTING PAP SMEAR TOMORROW VERY LOUDLY WHILE WE ARE STANDING IN A VERY PUBLIC LINE.
just thinking about him makes my vagina shudder.
That bus ride was like a tour of all the bushes I puked behind last night
It's official. Every single female in their late teens and early 20s get their fb statuses from a pool of cliched "quotes" which all say, without saying, "boys treat me like shit, I know they do, but one day I'll find 'the guy' who will treat me right no matter how psychotic I am." Vom.
The only thing better than Call of Duty is getting jerked off while playing Call of Duty.
his mom and i are swapping prescript pills..totally mother in law material.
Is it bad to get into the ocean at night? i always thought sharks hated the smell of vomit after drinking
I'm not surprised. You have the libido of an Italian soccer team.
Tonight, I'll be cleaning. And by cleaning, I mean drinking booze and spraying everything with Febreze.
How do i politely tell him his dick looks like it went thru a meat grinder?
I no longer believe that the road to self esteem is through his penis.
That's the ultimate walk-of-shame: running away from your own apartment and hiding in a McDonald's.
So it's official...my sex life has improved since Pokemon came out...
This is not okay. I only like one boy. I should like 200 boys and be having wild unprecedented sex. Instead I like one boy whose a born again virgin.
Randomize
