ID DO HER
SHE HAS LUMPS OF DEODORANT IN HER ARMPIT, I THINK ONE FELL IN YOUR DRINK
Those 2 guys from the sonic commercial will be virgins for life.
I wish my period boobs were my regular boobs.
I slept with him to see his dog one last time
Get in the lobby, you have to sign my boxers
The liquor store manager told us to drink responsible as we checked out and we laughed to his face. Like we're buying karkov at noon, responsibility is out of the question
Im sorry for drunkenly throwing your phone into the ocean. At the time it seemed like a good way for you not to text him
currently wearing a football players overly sized underwear. discovered a shot count on my leg. I'm a tank hahahhh
I got whiskey, so I think the blizzard and I are at an even match
I have good news and bad news. Bad news, she's not in porn. Good news, I found porn.
If she "comes out" to me I guess I'll high five her. That's pretty much my response to everything these days.
I mean metaphorically speaking, maybe we've all fucked on top of a frat house at some point in our lives
Excuse me while I gouge out my eyes.
In which case my work here is done.
Oh, and Harry Potter. We could be fuck-and-Harry-Potter buddies.
You weren't singing into a microphone in front of an audience. You were screaming into your fist in the check-out aisle in Walmart.
Randomize
