Um, I don't know who U MEANT to send that to, but yes I WAS going to fuck you. Instead you can go play Halo with ur friends.
is her vagina suppost to smell like dirty taco bell?
That adds atleast one bjs worth of awkward sexual tension between us.
oh hey just found a glowstick in my tits. fuck yes new years eve
today is the best snowday of my entire life. also its no shirt day.
I STRONGLY considered not bringing that guy home with me last night simply because I'd JUST changed my sheets that morning.
Okay! I've got my sketchbook, my purse, my coat, and a knife hidden in my cleavage. I'm ready for to meet my blind date~
Dude you couldnt even talk, you just kept hiccuping and slamming your head on the wall.
I feel as though sleeping all day due to the effects of prescription painkillers paid for by union insurance made this the most American day ever for me
Just got kicked out of two hot tubs. We were naked the second time. So awkward getting out in front of the security guard.
I realize designer coke was a douchey thing to say but the point of the story is I did bath salts
Just spilled a coffee mug full of scolding hot oatmeal on my bare dick. Hope you're having a good Friday night too.
WHAT A DUMBASS ugh I'm so glad he looks like a middle aged dad now
he's been 21 for 38 minutes and he's already trying to fist fight this dude over his girl
awwwww babys first drunken mistake
Well this guy just went into a detailed lecture about how rinos are developing into unicorns.. It's gonna be a good night.
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