Do you realize that Last night you pissed in my closet and then walked to the bathroom to wash your hands?
We basically counted to 3 and then dumped each other.
I just puked in the mop bucket at work. I think I need to go home.
his cum shot went directly into his bellybutton. felt like i was playin ski ball
it wasnt like "sexy" or whatever. like...she was smiling just standing there butt ass naked
tasteful.
But I always wanted my obit to read "Died violently in casino orgy," not "Never woke up from rectal surgery."
Apprently after I bit that bouncer, it all went down hill.
He wanted to bang in the work van while we were on shift together. He convinced me with "It's like the Scooby Doo van but looks nothing like the Scooby Doo van."
i would really love it if at least once per weekend i did not wake up to you half naked passed out on the floor
I threw up in a mitten on my drive home. Wow.
I have come to the conclusion that my perfect boyfriend is a cardboard cutout of Link with a dildo attatched. Also, Merry Christmas.
Just thought you should know I'm having a reunion tour of Athens this weekend. Minus the weird guy I was fucking last time.
Know what's awkward? Having a couple of moving guys watch while you detach the bondage cuffs from your bedframe, that's what.
His flight was delayed by two hours though. I just got cock-blocked by clouds :(
I just talked comic books with a cop. We high-fived as he was running my name.
Proud of you.
We discussed the legality of being a vigilante. I won.
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