god help us all. i just saw an infant wearing a onesie that said "i don't know who my daddy is"
she looks like someone took a bunch of spare parts and glued them all on one face. it's quite horrifying.
just saw a girl with a lower back tattoo of the boondock saints prayer.. i will marry her
His mom just described him as a manipulative, deceitful bastard -- oddly I still want him
i just woke up to a text from him apologizing for making me eat a full lemon
My brother just asked if I would keep having one nighters with that guy because he really likes the organic cotton v-necks he leaves behind.
Just threw up in the waiting room. I can't believe I have to switch dermatologists again.
the cops accepted 42 wallaby way Sydney. and the cops, and cab driver accepted the new address. please tell the win i am experiencing
Why are you there anyways?
Pickin up ball pit balls from craigslist
She deserves a chance to suck my penis. This is America. Its her God given right.
my mom asked if I found my Easter basket. it's 1PM & I got home an hour ago from last night. if I'm looking for anything, it's my dignity.
don't worry, i'm not mad. i'm just angry. and furious. and about to set your ass on fire.
i pushed adam in a shopping cart for 15 blocks, then we realized we left tyler downtown
did you go back and get him?
nah we went to a karaoke bar instead, so worth it
So I was having a really bad night...so I decided to steal a pumpkin.
Can you recommend a quality dick? I haven’t had a good sexing in a while
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